Behind the walls

Writings of a wandering mind

Calling Nana – a skit

Posted By in Musings

Calling Nana – a skit

Man picks up a prison pay phone – hits numbers. Moments pass as a phone rings.

Man – Hey, it’s me!

Nana – Hi, Baby! Oh, it’s great to have you call. (Nana’s voice turns from phone,) CARL! Your grandson is on the phone.
(indistinct male voice grumbling in distance)
No, not him. The one you like. The one, IN PRISON!

Man – Uh, I’m just checking in from my new camp here, let ya know what’s up.

Nana – Oh, really….tell me suga.

Man – Well, all things being, its okay… for prison that is. The showers are a little small though. I mean, you’re right there with another man.

Nana – Oh!? I’ve seen, Shawshank baby! You don’t need friends like THAT! They can’t protect you the way the Good Lord can.

Man – No, no, Nana its not like that….

Nana interrupts, her mind and words chugging along.

Nana – But just cause Jesus says, ‘Turn the other cheek,

Man – Nana!

Nana – don’t mean THEM cheeks! You clench those cakes, baby!

Man – No, Nana….listen, it’s a shower NEAR another man, not WITH another man.

Nana – Now baby, don’t be ashamed. Somebody always gonna try you. I’m glad you came to us. (Nana’s voice turns from the phone and screams) CARL! GET OVER TO THE PHONE.

Man (blinks rapidly) Nana….just listen.

Nana – Oh I hear you baby. I hear you loud and clear. Now if this, somehow has become your, (clears throat) choice, Nana loves you anyway.

(man pulls phone from head and looks at it as if an alien artifact, before returning receiver to ear.) (heavy sigh)

(Pa-paw picks up phone and hollers in suddenly)

Pa-paw – Ain’t no chump’s gonna punk a grandson of mine!

Nana – No, Carl. It’s not like that.

Man – Thank you, Nana.

Nana – No, our grandson is having, “The Showers”.

Man & Pa-paw – WHAT!?

Nana – I told him, we’d love him no matter what. Don’t we Carl? I suppose it’s not so different from that time in the sixties, eh Carl?

Pa-paw – (quickly speaks) Yeah, we love you son. Call back soon.

Man – Um, yeah I love you (phone hangs up)

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